When I read the Bible, I am drawn to the passionate God-wrestlers:
People like that. (If you’re unfamiliar with their stories and want to read them, let me know–I’ll tell you where to find them.)
I am drawn to the characters who bring everything they are into their relationship with God–even when they’re angry at him.
A few years ago, my husband gave me boxing gloves and a 70-pound heavy bag to hang in the garage. He thought that might be helpful to my prayer life. Totally was.
Have you ever let the intensity of your wrestling with God work its way out of you physically? I’m talking about prayer that is not clean or pretty or dignified. It’s rough and raw and unrehearsed.
Have you ever unloaded on God your hurt and anger and doubts and questions to the point that you’ve given him every bit of it? Kept wrestling until you can’t anymore because you’ve emptied out all your questions and doubts and anger onto him? Have you ever exhausted yourself against God–punched through it all to the place where you find him holding you and you can rest on him and hear his love for you again?
Have you? What appeals to you or scares you about that idea?